Before I began my ramblings, I should note that (despite other posts) I am very grateful for my job. I don't mind coming to work everyday, although, given the choice, I would much rather stay home and do the 5,000 other things on my "If I Only Had the Time" list. But I don't come from a wealthy family and I refuse to live off the government, so that's that.
Up until about seven months ago, I had fully accepted my lifelong 9-5. Then Taylor was born and my entire mindset changed. On one hand, I am super thankful for the extra income that my job brings in. Let's face it, babies are expensive little creatures. What I'm not thankful for is the constant struggle of being pulled in two different directions (I'm sure this is something all working mothers out there can relate to). I miss my chubby-cheek girl her from the second her daddy takes her to daycare in the morning until I am able to pick her up at night. And putting in overtime has become an excruciating task, as every extra minute away from her feels like an eternity. I realize that I won't always feel this way, but right now she is so sweet and loving that I long to be with her all the time. I believe the saying goes something like "the days drag on but the weeks fly by." Uh, no joke. The past seven months have been a whirlwind (to say the least). I feel like our baby is growing at super speed while I sit behind a desk paying someone else to relish in the joy that is our beautiful daughter. But my husband has reminded me (daily) that I will never be a stay-at-home-mom (something about the insanity that would ensue from my mind having too much time on its hands...blah blah blah), so I write the daycare checks and watch videos on my iPhone to make it through the day.
Speaking of child care, can we discuss this issue for a moment? When in the world did daycare become so competitive? It is work trying to find a certified, reliable, competent, trustworthy individual to care for your child! My husband and I scoured through list after list of potential caretakers for our unborn babe before finally finding one that was clean, organized, and didn't have a bunch of heathens running around. My general theory in life is that people are insane, and the thought of leaving our precious newborn with a complete stranger scared the living daylights out of me. We knew right away that we wanted an in-home daycare that was small and would provide our infant with plenty of love and attention. Luckily, we were able to find just that (which was nothing short of a miracle) and, so far, we are extremely happy with our sitter's services. She is quite possibly as Type A as I am (which immediately prompted a 'yes' vote from me). She respects a daily routine that doesn't revolve around the TV, always has fun activities for the kids to do, and genuinely cares for our babe. If I have to leave our daughter in the hands of someone else, I'm happy it's her.
What I'm not overly enthused about is the cost of said services. While I understand that we live in a city and therefore the cost is higher (something about supply and demand but I slept through most of Economics...), I didn't realize it was going to consume half of my monthly paycheck! I understand that you pay for what you get, but come on! Not to mention the time that my husband and I are required to take off whenever the daycare is closed (mostly unpaid due to our lack of vacation time). I get that sitters need a break just like any other job, but a week for Spring Break, two weeks (paid) in the summer, and a week and a half (paid) at Christmas? That's more time off than my husband and I get combined!
But that's the way the system works and it's not just our daycare - the same went for every other facility we looked into. If you're going to play the game, you have to play by their rules. Doesn't mean I can't complain about it though...
While there is no disagreeing about the struggles of being a working mom, and I acknowledge that I have absolutely no knowledge of your families financial situation, I gotta say that for most families, I disagree with the idea that a person, you even, can't stay at home without rich parents or government assistance.
ReplyDeleteIn your situation, for example, you are only bringing home half of your salary. Also, your salary, may very well have you in a higher income bracket then your family would be in without. And of course, there are other costs to working: second car, gas expenditure, more expensive clothes then might be sufficient otherwise, coffee out, lunch out, far more expensive convenience food (compared to from scratch) and eating dinner out because of limited time and more.
Obviously not in all situations, but in most situations, I believe that moms are working to finance the opportunity to continue working. And even if you are bringing home a bit of money after expenses, if your heart is at home, it may not be out of the realm of possibilities to bring the lifestyle down just a little bit to fully afford being a one-income family.
We have been inspired by Dave Ramsey and Dynamic Marriage. I know that it's not quick, easy, or glamorous, but it is often possible. We've been planning what we want our money to do on purpose on paper before the checks arrive for a year and a half. We've been snowballing our debts and being frugal, and next month, the reward--- I'll get to come home, and hopefully we'll all be a bit less stressed, and less rushed.
Laura - first, thank you for taking the time to read my blog, and second, thank you for sharing your thoughts on the matter. I agree with your commentary; however, after multiple conversations on this topic, my husband and I have agreed that our current arrangement is the best for our family at this time. If/when we decide to add baby no. 2 to the mix, it could be an entirely different story. Stay tuned, you may see a completely different post in the next 3-5 years!
DeleteI hope you and yours are doing well. I, too, have read Dave Ramsey's book, and I believe he has many valid points and techniques. I wish you & Jason the best of luck in your financial endeavors!