Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Time is Fleeting

As the days fly by and the months roll along, I find myself struggling to hold on to as many memories as I can. My personal and professional lives are so consumed with names, dates, and appointments that I feel myself already forgetting so many precious moments from this past year. Time is fleeting. It slips away before we really have a chance to embrace it and before long the present is the past and a new day is upon us. Unfortunately, my journey through motherhood over the past year has only sped up this process. One minute I'm in the hospital, holding our baby girl and relishing in both fear and wonderment, wondering how I could ever love anything as much as this brand new life in front of me, and the next thing I know Taylor is rolling over, then sitting up, then crawling, and now she's on the verge of taking her very first steps. How did I get here? How did time manage to slip away so suddenly?

Perhaps it isn't just me. I remember my momma telling me that as soon as I became a mother time would fly in the blink of an eye. I thought she was crazy (or just feeling sappy as she was about to embark on her 50th birthday), but it turns out she was exactly right. Babies grow and change at such a rapid speed that it's almost impossible to keep up. It's like I'm running a race that I'll never win. As soon as I finally adjust to whatever new skill she has learned, I turn around to discover that she has already reached the next level of advancement. My heart yearns to freeze each moment in time so that I can hold onto it forever while my head is in constant over drive, spinning with questions about her well being.

Is she happy? 
Should she be eating more solid foods? 
Are those stairs safe?
Should we be working on her vocabulary more? 
Is she drinking enough? 
Should I be playing with her rather than doing these dishes? 
Is it too early to start weaning her from the bottle?
Does she think I'm a good mother?

Am I a good mother?

The unconditional love that a mother has for her child is exhausting. It's also completely amazing. And even with all the challenges and chaos, I could never ask for a more rewarding job. Her kisses heal my soul after a lousy work day and her hugs remind me that nothing in the world matters as long as she and Jake are in my life.

As our baby continues to grow and enters the next stage of her life, I pray that I always remember what matters most. While the sound of her sweet giggles and the pitter patter of her little feet fill our house now, I know that won't always be the case. I hope that her life is always full of love and happiness, that she never loses her adventurous spirit, and that she remains fearless and fully embraces each challenge that comes her way. But mostly, I hope she retains the innocence that encompasses her ability to love every person she meets. Because she is extraordinary, and I never want to forget it.